An Astonishing Tale From Your Friendly Back To The Futurist

Wednesday October 21, 2015

Happy Back To The Future Day friends. It’s too bad that I have to leave you. The time has come for me to bum-slide across the hood of my silver and shiny DeLorean, Marty McFly style, and head back to my time. You see, I’m from the future. I traveled back here to the year 2015 in a time machine, which I won in a gritty, underground, Fight Club-esque world series euchre tournament (yes euchre is the de facto card game of the future), to start this blog. My conscience has been weighing in on me this whole time so I decided to be open and honest about the Gaming Worker’s origin. Seeing as how it is the 30th anniversary of one of Hollywood’s most beloved movies about time travel it only seemed right. So yes, time travel will be possible and yes, you’ll get you’re turn. Just be patient.

Now before I go I want you to know a couple of things. One, this blog will still continue spit out great content! How you ask? Well the Gaming Worker, aka Sean Berry, of this current time will take over all of the blog content responsibilities from this point onward. The look, feel and voice of the blog will not change so you can put your worries to rest. I have taken the necessary precautions to ensure that this transition runs smoothly and free of error. The 2015 Sean Berry has been safe and sound and in cryosleep since January of this year. Yes, cryogenic sleep chambers are real just like time traveling cars. And no, writers in your time are not clairvoyant. The ideas that they get for the books and movies in your time are actually implanted into their brains from the future via a time shifting, neuro-tech frequency that’s far too advanced for you and I to comprehend. But I digress. Sean Berry is in cryosleep, but soon will be awakened to take over where I left off.

Again, everything here, as you know it, should remain the the same and continue uninterrupted. While Sean was asleep I was using the aforementioned neuro technology, but slightly modified, to implant everything that he missed this year deep into his subconscious including all of the work that has gone into this blog. When he comes to it will be like no time has passed and he’ll continue to live out the rest of his life.

Two, to all of my gaming cohorts, stop feeding into the great debate of gaming! It comes in many forms. Console vs. mobile. Console vs. PC. PlayStation vs. Xbox. You need to stop fueling this unnecessary fire because (I’ll tell you a tiny little secret) in the future none of this matters. Just pick up your controller, or smart device for that matter, and play! Gaming is a monolith that reigns supreme in the future. It is a way of life and all of these silly, inane competitions are counterproductive. How you choose to immerse yourself and by what means is of no consequence. What’s important is that you’re happy with your gaming lot in life and that you have fun, period.

That’s the ideology of the future where I’m from and that’s where you should be headed. But remember, your future hasn’t been written yet. No one’s has. Your future is whatever you make it. So make it a good one. All of you.

P.S. Now please don’t make me have to travel back in time to tell you this again. Gas is just too damn expensive in the future, but more importantly traveling back to the same time more than once could create a time paradox. The result of which could cause a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space-time continuum and destroy the entire universe! But that’s the worst case scenario. The destruction could in fact be very localized, limited to merely our own galaxy 😉

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked.